Single Parents in South Africa

The increase of single parenthood is not a phenomenon isolated only to the western world. Even in South Africa, there has been is a high percentage of single parents within the population. In 1998, 22 percent households in South Africa were run by single parents.



As in any country, single parenthood arises because of (a) divorce (b) death or estrangement of a spouse (c) teenage pregnancy.



Aside from the AIDS epidemic, South Africa’s is currently facing social fragmentation as women continue to suffer a high rate of teenage pregnancy.



Women single parents are shouldering conditions of grinding poverty at a very early age with a few support systems especially because South African communities consider care-giving and child-rearing the responsibility of the mother solely.



Single parents or widowed heads-of-households in South Africa are even taking responsibility for the care of family members and children affected by HIV/AIDS.



A report on the State of South Africa's Population (2000) shows a high unmet need for contraception among teenagers and women living in the rural areas thus a very high teenage pregnancy turnout. The report therefore calls for empowerment programs for teenagers and rural women so that they can take control of their reproductive behavior.



Many children in South Africa have grown up without their fathers. In some parts, many women who are single parents run households because their husbands have gone away to work in towns of countries across the border. Many of the husbands also have died of AIDS-related diseases. Some women become single parents after losing husbands through war.



Of course, many have become single parents due to increasing number of divorces. Local figures indicate that, in South Africa, there were about 27,000 divorces in 1986 and 33,246 in 1987 and 32,524 in 1989. Two-thirds of these divorces involved children.



In 1985, more than 25,000 children were products of a home run by a single parent. September 1990 data shows that 73 percent of children in South Africa come from broken homes and 150,000 children had been affected by divorce in the last four years.



These figures surely have shot up by now.



The problem with divorce is that it is not only the marriage that disintegrates but also the children who get separated from one or both of the parents. South Africa is predominantly a patriarchal society and children have consequently suffered greatly due to absent fathers.



Men not facing their patriarchal responsibility has a profound effect on the collective consciousness of next generations of South Africans.



More concretely, effects of divorce on South African children include the increasing possibility for child exploitation. The increase of single parenthood in South Africa resulted to more orphans and street children as single parents opt to abandon their children because of extreme poverty.



In South Africa, foster parents actually receive more government funding than single parents resulting in the abandonment of young children because of the inability of single parents to provide for them. It is these children who most lack care and support and who are most at risk of being exploited.



Women single parents feel the stigma of being poor and unmarried, widowed or divorced and are under extreme pressure from the society. Single mothers who are looking for ways to support their children and who are very much willing to take huge risks to put some bread on the table are very vulnerable to prostitution and trafficking.



For these situations, government and non-government immediate assistance are direly needed. Employment opportunities, education and vocation trainings for single parents should be of great help.



One example of programs that help single parents is that which an NGO called SOS Children run in Mamelodi, Mandela Village. Vocational training courses are offered to single parents. Courses include beadwork and sewing (dressmaking).



Women, and some men, on the sewing course make clothes and knit jumpers which they can then sell. This helps single parents generate a regular income so they can support their children. A number of single parents on this course are given grants to help them start-up their own businesses.

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Psychological Well Being of Single Parents In South Africa

Psychological Well Being of Single Parents In South Africa



Being a single parent in South Africa is already considered as a statistic. This is because of the high number of this rate versus combined parenthood. Ironically, the reason for single parenthood is very different from their Western counterparts.



In Western countries, typical reasons for single parenthood range from divorce, death of a spouse or a personal choice. In South Africa, the main reason of single parenthood is AIDS.



AIDS is rapidly killing people aged, 19-45 in South Africa. These ages are the potential parents of future generations.



According to Professor Clifford Odimgegwu, Professor of the University of Witwatersrand in Southern Africa, the grandparents are currently taking care of the orphans from parents who have died of this disease.



The AIDS epidemic has become alarming, and has already disrupted two layers of the population pyramid. This pyramid consists of those in the five-year old age bracket who will eventually be the adults in the future generations.



More than 10 million children in South Africa have been dying of AIDS. The other part of the pyramid is the 19-45 age bracket, who will comprise the senior citizens of the region. (http://www.voanews.com/english/archive/2006-03/2006-03-08-voa65.cfm).



Losing a partner is very stressful for the parent. The psychological well being of single parents in South Africa has been very poor primarily because of the reason on why the partner was lost. The reputation of AIDS in progressive countries have mellowed considerably.



In South Africa, however, it is still in the same ranks as the deadly illnesses of the olden times, as the Black Plague or the Bubonic Plague because of its sheer number.



The government has been very helpful in helping parents cope with the loss of a parent, whether through AIDS or through divorce. Divorce also ranks as a high factor in single parenthood. In South Africa, 50% of married couples end in divorce. These individuals become single parents. South African individuals have not developed coping skills on becoming a single parent.



They need assistance in coping with this event. The FAMSA is an organization in South Africa which helps out in counseling of individuals regardless of financial status. These organization is a beneficial tool of the South African government in managing the way of thinking of these individuals in coping with problems, particularly single parenthood.



Newly single parents develop feelings of sadness, abandonment, confusion, guilt, fear of being alone, and anxiety. The following tips have been recommended to be able to combat these feelings:



1) Forgive and forget – Letting go of unnecessary feelings can make one feel lighter, and happier. Holding on to anger is more stressful than letting it go. Forgetting will make it easier to move on to the next relationship, and maintaining the current relationship with your children.



2) Maintain network and relationships within the community – Having honorary aunts and uncles within the community fosters camaraderie between the child and the neighborhood, and the parent and the neighborhood as well. It also helps children understand that building relationships is an effective way to let go of the bad feelings that they felt during the separation of their parents.



3) Take responsibility – Before, the responsibility of caring for the family was shared between two individuals. Now, only one is responsible for the entire family. Taking responsibility empowers a single parent to be more careful in decision making and managing the household. In addition, the parent can ask help from the children on decision making such as what items to buy during grocery shopping.



4) Do not forget the old rituals that you used to do – Children need consistency in their lives after seeing their parents separate. Rituals as going out for dinner every Wednesday or the parent picking up the child from school every Friday should be maintained. In this way, the child feels that even if the parents are separated, the rituals are still there.



The psychological well being of single parents in South Africa are alarming, but slowly increasing towards the positive. The government, through FAMSA, has been a tremendous help in making sure that single parents are helped.

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